Honest
What I’m Telling My Kids About Donald Trump, God, & Us
Hey Friends,
Welcome to Life after Death, my beloved little newsletter on the big wide web where I share stories of life after divorce, miscarriage, loved ones dying, evolving faith and more. All as a way to show up in life and do my part to help build compassion, understanding, peace and hope.
My kids, Leni (6) and Ollie (4) watch the morning local news or the Today show on school days with their grandpa. I grew up in a household where the only appropriate thing to regularly watch on TV was the news. I remember being a preschooler and we’d start at 5PM every evening with ABC local news, followed by World News Tonight with Peter Jennings, then back to an hour of more local news. Except on the weekends, which had a different schedule that included 60 Minutes. And that was it. We had to beg incessantly to watch cartoons or other shows. And depending on how tired our caretakers were, we’d be able to wear them down on some days and catch a show.
But mostly, it was the news.
So now, my kids get to have this experience with the grandpa who lives next door to us on our first floor. It’s a way for them to remain grounded as well as build a core memory with him. My hope is that when they are adults looking back on their childhood they will remember him and their time with him.
These days, however, Donald Trump dominates the air time. We’ve tried to have age-appropriate conversations with our kids regarding the election. The letter at the end summarizes what we are telling them. Though, I will admit that some of the language we’ve omitted until they are older. I’ve told Leni I can’t tell her what Donald Trump has done to other women just yet.
Without further ado, here is Honest - What I’m Telling My Kids About Donald Trump, God, & Us
If you believe and I believe and we together pray,
the Holy Spirit must come down
and set God's people free
- Traditional Zimbabwe, Recessional Hymn at Trinity Epispochal Cathedral
Last Saturday, we had a lazy morning. I made pancakes and crescent rolls to add to a breakfast spread I laid out on the kitchen island with the kiddos at the counter.
A remix version of Coldplay's All My Love was playing on our speakers.
With yogurt smeared around her lips and in between bites of raspberry, Leni would look at me while singing,
You've got all my love
Whether it rains or pours
I'm all yours
I could see her searching for the notes to hit to sing in the right key and so locking eyes with me was helping. I moved my hands up and then down to follow the melody, showing how the notes would rise and fall. We had our first duet.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Ollie shaking his head to the beat and dancing in his chair.
Eyes twinkling and with a wide playful smile he shares, "I'm shaking my butt under the table."
And I held onto this moment. Expand, I begged it. Expand.
Dear Leni & Ollie,
President Donald Trump is an unremorseful convicted felon, convicted fraudster, and convicted sex abuser. He tells a lot of lies every day. We don't condone or approve of what he has done and continues to do. We did not vote for him.
But this is what happened and we live in this country. We choose to abide not only by its laws but also, our relationship with God tells us to be loving and to be peacemakers. At his core, Donald Trump is more than just what he has done and failed to do. He is still Beloved. Like you and me.
We don't like what he has done. We don't like how he conducts business or treats women and people who are less fortunate than him. But this is the country we live in, and we can choose to be loving, kind, and just, even when others may not.
When it's hard, when it's confusing, pray. Reach out to Mommy and Daddy. Reach out to friends, family, and community who love you.
When it's hard, when it's confusing, remind yourself that God loves you. No matter what. Mommy and Daddy love you no matter what too.
When it's hard, when it's confusing, remember you are not alone.
Remembering is one of our superpowers right now.
Remember you are blessed. You live in a home in a safe neighborhood. You go to a good school, have clothes to wear, and food to eat each day.
Remember you are privileged. Remember to not feel guilty for what you have or your fortunate circumstances. But to feel gratitude for your life and to accept the responsibility of sharing what you have with others - to love, care, and advocate for others as God loves, cares, and advocates for you.
How can someone be a vessel for good policies for women if they are not even sorry they sexually abused them?
How can someone be a vessel for good policies for the middle and lower class if they are not sorry for committing fraud against them?
How can someone be a vessel for peace when they are not sorry about using violent language, threatening violence against innocent people, and being violent themselves against multiple women?
I don't know.
And so, my prayer for the president to do good in this world is one for a miracle. The crazy part is this, I believe in miracles. I'm the recipient of one. Ollie, you are my miracle.
Please remember, just because someone has power does not make them a good person who does good in this world. It doesn't make them a bad person who does bad in this world. In our case, this is just who was voted into power. We did not vote for him.
But we pray for him. That he will make good decisions and be a good person.
Remember, Leni and Ollie, we follow Jesus - who wasn’t rich or a politician. People these days call him a king - but the only crown he ever wore was made with thorns. He taught us how to love. So if you are looking for an example of a powerful king, look to those people in our society who remind you of Jesus.
In the meantime, we work, we live, we love.
We do this by being a part of an affirming church where all families, including LGBTQ+ families can worship and participate fully in the life of the church.
We do this by moving forward with our plans to better take care of the Earth by reducing our carbon footprint. We are composting and gardening. We are recycling and reusing. We are trying out a "buy nothing new" philosophy this year and joining "buy nothing new" groups. We are recommitting ourselves to a more vegan lifestyle.
We do this by continuing to love others and being a part of communities where we don't agree with everyone, on a daily basis. And on a daily basis we are committing ourselves to loving even when it is hard.
That's what I got, Leni and Ollie. I hope it's enough.
Love,
Mommy